i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
