nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
