Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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