bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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