think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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