We won't sleep together?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
