Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
so much tequila, so little girl.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
