you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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