Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have aggressive nipples.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
