I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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