Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize