He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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