Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
