Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My nipple is on Facebook.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
