I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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