In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
