dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
