worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
