YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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