What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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