kristin has been a bad kristin
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
