You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
