Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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