So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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