ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
