you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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