I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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