Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am available for nakedness
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
