My brain says no but my pants say off.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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