No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
