Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
