Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
