Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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