Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
