She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
