Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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