normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
