i may or may not be watching the land before time
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Randomize
