ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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