Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
