Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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