i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
