just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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