I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
