She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
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OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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