I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
