So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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