I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
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Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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