I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Of course I have a pirate flag
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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