You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
