Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
