Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
