i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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