The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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