What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
