I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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