I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
