I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
