Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
