..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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