Ketchup is God's man juice
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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