summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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